Yep, I encountered the squatter today! I've been in China now for almost 3 weeks and I've avoided public restrooms at all costs, up until today. A grande coffee at an expat event before my Walmart excursion was not the smartest idea. The first thought that went through my brain when I stepped into the restroom was "DAMN it's a squatter". I'm not quite sure why the Chinese think they're a good idea as I find them very complicated. First off you've got to place your feet on the appropriate foot grids and maintain balance while pulling down your pants, making sure they don't contact any floor surface as you're not quite sure what has touched the floor.
Next, you assume a squatting position like a competitive ski jumper and stick your ass out as far as you can. Man I knew I should've stuck with yoga - chair pose could come in handy right about now! Once you're in that ski jumper ass out pose use one hand to hold your pants and prevent yourself from peeing on them while maintaining your balance and hopefully not touching the stall wall with your other hand. Oh yea and then look around realizing there isn't any toilet paper because you were suppose to grab that out by the sink where you wash your hands?!?!?! Thank goodness for kleenex mini-packs. Really wish I was a man today, however at least I got that out of the way as I'm sure I'll be encountering many many more in the next few years. I'm going to yoga tomorrow at the gym I hope we work on chair pose.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Squatter
Yep, I encountered the squatter today! I've been in China now for almost 3 weeks and I've avoided public restrooms at all costs, up until today. A grande coffee at an expat event before my Walmart excursion was not the smartest idea. The first thought that went through my brain when I stepped into the restroom was "DAMN it's a squatter". I'm not quite sure why the Chinese think they're a good idea as I find them very complicated. First off you've got to place your feet on the appropriate foot grids and maintain balance while pulling down your pants, making sure they don't contact any floor surface as you're not quite sure what has touched the floor.
Next, you assume a squatting position like a competitive ski jumper and stick your ass out as far as you can. Man I knew I should've stuck with yoga - chair pose could come in handy right about now! Once you're in that ski jumper ass out pose use one hand to hold your pants and prevent yourself from peeing on them while maintaining your balance and hopefully not touching the stall wall with your other hand. Oh yea and then look around realizing there isn't any toilet paper because you were suppose to grab that out by the sink where you wash your hands?!?!?! Thank goodness for kleenex mini-packs. Really wish I was a man today, however at least I got that out of the way as I'm sure I'll be encountering many many more in the next few years. I'm going to yoga tomorrow at the gym I hope we work on chair pose.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment